


Scrawled Vignettes

by madamecrimson



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series), The Try Guys (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Angst, Crying, Denial of Feelings, F/F, F/M, Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Porn with Feelings, Quarantine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:34:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26870737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamecrimson/pseuds/madamecrimson
Summary: I've totally had the writing equivalent of stage fright for months now, so this is a writing experiment to hopefully help with that.Tags will be updated as I continue to add to this.
Relationships: Becky Habersberger/Keith Habersberger/Eugene Lee Yang, Keith Habersberger/Eugene Lee Yang, Keith Habersberger/Zach Kornfeld, Ned Fulmer/Eugene Lee Yang, Ned Fulmer/Keith Habersberger, Ned Fulmer/Zach Kornfeld, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej/Marielle Scott, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej/Sara Rubin, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej/Sara Rubin/Marielle Scott, Zach Kornfeld/Eugene Lee Yang
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	Scrawled Vignettes

Too close. 

Were Ryan and he really too close? 

Shane hadn't really thought about it until he had too much time to think about it and could no longer avoid it. It tugged at his consciousness, beginning for his attention, invading his mind. 

Ryan had stated numerous times that they spent more time with each other than anyone else. And that was true, because they worked together. 

People spend 5 days at work during the week, 2 days at home on the weekend, give or take depending on other circumstances. So, mathematically it made sense. 

So why did he usually end up spending his Friday nights and Saturdays with Ryan when they were both working full-time at Buzzfeed? 

He was trying to make friends; it's not like Ryan and he were barhopping alone. The whole Unsolved crew accompanied them. 

Of course the two of them usually ended up going back to Ryan's or his for the evening, drunk and falling asleep on the couch, Shane's feelings seeping into the cushions as he shut his eyes. 

It was certainly different with Watcher though. They hadn't really hung outside of work since they'd started building their company with Steven. Building from scratch was no easy task. 

Although, he hadn't really hung out with anyone else outside of work either, until the 4th or 5th passive aggressive text message from one of his friends caused the guilt in his stomach to bubble over and burn like acid, and then he had to go hang out with them. 

It wasn't that he didn't like his other friends. He was trying to make sure he could still pay his bills. Trying to aim for the level of creativity that all of them had always dreamed of. 

But how many times had Shane stayed late at the office with Ryan, staring at a blank word document that he claimed was a rough draft of a Puppet History script, just to be around him a little longer? 

How often had Ryan and he had an afternoon meeting with the rest of Watcher that lasted until everyone else went home for the day, and they remained there, bouncing ideas off of each other. Well, that's how their conversations started. They'd soon veer off into film, words flowing effortlessly between them, and sometimes knowing the other so well that they didn't need words at all. 

Shane had done everything he could to swat away any inkling of feelings he had towards Ryan. If Ryan poked his face, tapped his moustache, made some sort of joke to insinuate that they either were or totally weren't dating (he often lost track), Shane would reply with a soft sort of sarcasm, shut it down immediately. He didn't think he wanted to know if Ryan was joking or not. 

He _ached_ for it. 

That way, if he were to slip, let a smile or a clap on the shoulder last a little too long, allow himself to stand close enough to Ryan that his arm pressed up warmly against Shane's, stare a bit too long and a bit too sappily, he'd have an alibi. 

Love wasn't a crime but it certainly felt that way to Shane. 

There were all of the perfectly reasonable reasons that Shane would never even think about pursuing Ryan; Ryan's heterosexuality and frat boy machismo, the fate of their company, the intensity of their fanbase, the worry of losing the best friend he'd ever had over stupid little moments that made his heart stop whenever Ryan was around? 

If that was all it was, logistical uncertainty and a lack of 100% confirmation that Ryan didn't return his feelings, perhaps Shane wouldn't feel like being apart from Ryan during the quarantine was tearing him to shreds. 

But he didn't want that confirmation. 

Sure, being in love with Ryan felt like fire burning through his body, a softness that made his heart flutter, a hunger that left him speechless, a giddy feeling of glee when they'd banter. 

But the thought of losing Ryan made Shane's stomach drop, made him feel like he was barreling off a cliff to the jagged rocks below. 

So, he dealt with it. 

He expected the quarantine to make things easier but Ryan and he just wound up spending more time with each other. 

And now here he sits in the Lyft he ordered, staring at Ryan's place, seeing him in person for the first time since the quarantine started. 

His heart his beating so fast he worries it might fly out of his chest. 

"Is this the right place?" the Lyft driver asks, jolting Shane back to the present moment. 

He nods and mumbles an apology before stepping out of the car. 

He tries to take a few steadying breaths as he approaches the front door. 

They have to stay six feet apart. He knows that. He understands that. He thinks that anyone who actively goes against protocol is a moron.

But that doesn't stop the way his finger tips tingle with want to rest on Ryan's back as Shane pulls him into a tight warm, embrace. 

He wipes his sweaty palms on the thighs of his chinos, reaching up to knock on the door with a shaking hand. 

Shane holds his breath as he hears approaching footsteps on the other side.


End file.
